Desperate
by Liz24601
Summary: A case becomes personal to Reid as Hotch worries about his behavior. Betrayal and Schizophrenia ensue!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello everyone! This is my first Criminal Minds fic. Well, first fic in general! So it's not going to be great and characters will probably be super OOC...I'd really like some constructive criticism if you have time! Thanks! :) **_

_**Also, I'm terrible at starting stories...I know this chapter sounds cheesy and predictable, but that character isn't a Mary-Sue and the story isn't predictable though it sounds like it is in this chapter..! xD**_

_**I don't own anything in this story except for the words themselves!**_

"_Spencer."_

_Spencer paused and turned around to face his mom in the bright sunlit room. _

_"Did you get Vicki some food too?"_

_Spencer frowned, muttering, "Mom, please eat your supper..."_

_"Spence, she's your little sister. If you're making food for me you have to make some for her."_

_"Mom.."_

_"Don't 'mom' me. She's barely 5 years old, she looks up to you to take care of her. Ever since your dad left...She needs a father figure and right now you're the only male she sees. Show her they aren't all distrustful and weak.." Her stern tone vanished as Diane looked back to the books surrounding her on the bed. It was a complete mood change. "Now go get Vic some supper." She smiled up at him. _

_Apparently dismissed, Spencer sighed and walked out of the bedroom._

Spencer Reid watched tiredly as his computer shut down. It was late in the evening at the BAU. A few stragglers of employees still hung around, including Hotch. Reid glanced over his shoulder at the office of his team member. The regular pose of Hotch was silhouetted in a sepia tone underneath the lone lamp on Hotch. Reid knew Hotch would stay late tonight. Dual cases had just ended, both equally important. Their outcome reports had to be in by dawn.

Reid grabbed his coat and wrapped himself up. Cold January. It was barely a new year and already the dead and murder and mayhem had been imprinted on them here at the BAU. Every year it was the same.

Reid stepped out into the cold night, his breath coming out as heat left his body. He buttoned the last of his coat and headed to his car, snow crunching beneath his feet with hands shoved in his pockets, fumbling for keys as he neared his car in the ramp.

"S-sir?"

Reid stopped and turned around to where the meek voice had come from. A girl stood there, no older than 17 he guessed. She looked sick. Her hair was a mess and a thin nightgown was all she had. Her nose was red from cold and her chest heaving after running barefoot.

"...Can I help you?" Confusion was evident in Reid's voice. It's not every day he was approached by a teen.

"I-I need help..." Her voice faltered as did her footing. She left out a soft breath before collapsing to the snow had Reid not caught her. She was freezing. Wide-eyed, Reid took a moment's thought to hoist her in his arms and get to is car. He carefully set her in the backseat before blasting the heat and and driving quickly back to the BAU office to get Hotch.

_"WHERE IS SHE?"_

_"Mom, please, calm down..."_

_"WHERE IS VICKI?"_

_"She's gone mom, she's not coming back..."_

_"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?"_

_"Nothing! Mother, please!" Spencer exclaimed. He words of truth weren't enough. Diana slapped her ten year old son hard across the face, enough for him to stumble slightly. She hardly cared about the impact that would have. Her emotions were too much as she started sobbing before rushing into her bedroom. The door slammed enough to shake the walls of the living room Spencer was in._

_He sat down on the sofa, his heart racing and adrenaline caging him. His pale hands shaking, the pill bottle fell from his fingers onto the floor._

"Hotch I'm glad you're still here!"

Hotch stared at Reid before ushering the person on the phone to a goodbye, hanging up and looking sternly at Reid. It was midnight. He knew Reid was here rather late tonight, but Hotch was sure he saw him pack up his stuff to leave."What's wrong?"

"A teen girl just came up to me, I think she may need help—She does need help. She's in my car now."

Hotch grabbed his coat and followed Reid down. "Was she hurt?"

"I couldn't tell."

"And she just came up to you?"

"She had been running." Hotch continued his interview until they were right outside the car. Reid sometimes tended to be an UnSub magnet. Hotch had no reason to doubt this wasn't a relation.

"I don't understand, she was just here..."

"You said she was breathless, it may be she was running from someone holding her captive."

Reid circled his car again, glancing up every now and then in other directions to look for retreating footprints in the snow. "My car was locked, it still is..."

"Then maybe she went of her own free will." Hotch leaned down and looked at the back window. "A gun could pierce this. Her attacker most likely threatened her with one ."

"She could have ducked.." Reid looked up at Hotch with a puzzled expression. "I should have just called you to come down."

"You didn't know she was being followed." Hotch opened the back doors and looked at the seats. No blood, no messages, no anything. The car was still blasting the heaters yet no warmed scent of another person was there. "Go home Reid, it's late. Rather, early. Get some rest, maybe more clues will come around in the morning."

"She could be dead by then..."

"We have no proof there even is a crime."

"Hotch, she was begging me for help before she fainted! I saw her, isn't that proof enough?"

"Reid." His stern tone calmed Reid from his panicking. "I know you saw someone. I'm not denying that. But don't make this personal—The truth is we have no evidence other than an eyewitness, that person being you. And now the girl is gone. I'll alert the DC police of what you saw, they'll keep their eyes and ears open tonight. If you really want to help her, go home and get some sleep to be alert tomorrow to solve this, if it becomes a BAU case. Otherwise it's in the hands of the DC police."

Reid looked from the trodden snowy sidewalk to Hotch. Silence passed, only distant sirens and horns blaring in the downtown district. Defeated, his didn't argue the case any more. Only spoke quietly, "Can you drop me off at home? I'm going to leave my car here, in case she comes back or if the police need it."

Hotch nodded and fetched his keys, waiting in thought as Reid leaned in to shut off his own car and dropped the keys in his coat pocket.

Reid quickly went down the few short steps, sufficiently covered by the shadows of trees over his apartment's front courtyard. He turned and watched Hotch pull away and drive off into the street, not surprised to see Hotch's car headed back to the BAU instead of home.

After a moment of silence Reid turned back around and headed down the narrow sidewalk.

"I knew you would live here.."

He stopped, heart skipping a beat at the familiar voice.

"In your car, there was an address so I came to it, to here. I didn't feel safe on those streets, I saw his car pass yours when you were inside. I'm sorry I ran.."

Reid's shoulder's visibly relaxed as he sighed in relief, his usual official FBI tone dimmed down with his nerves. "Hearing your reason, it's alright. I won't leave you alone like that again. My partner is calling the police about tonight, they'll want to talk to you in the morning."

"I don't want to talk to the police."

"They can help you, I promise. Whoever you're running from. It's my job to track down people who hurt others..and if you're in trouble..." He offered a slight smile.

"...I hate police..." Her voice had dropped volumes. She took a step back from Reid, afraid.

"Please, don't run again. Maybe whoever you're running from told you cops and FBI were the bad guys, but we're the opposite." His voice grew bolder and calmer at once when she drew a knife in her hand. He stared at it for a moment but his eyes trailed back to her face. Reid's hands came out from his pockets immediately, showing her he had nothing to harm her with. "Please, I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're lying to me.." If fear was with her now, she looked terrified next, staring over Reid's shoulder. "H-He's coming, he's right behin—NO!"

Everything happened at once. Reid smelled alcohol very close to himself, heard a man and felt body heat on his back. He was shoved to the ground, presumably by the girl and man's impact. He heard a yell and then gutterly noises, retching, coughing. There was liquid soaking Reid's leg. Reid blinked and stared at the man on the ground, wreathing in weak pain. The girl had the knife clutched in her palm, breathing quickly.

Slowly her glance moved to Reid, eyes bright and wild.

Reid looked equally as frightened before sitting up in a crouch and taking control. "It's okay, it's okay, put down the knife, you got him..."

The knife dropped and the girl curled into herself, sobbing.

Reid kneeled over the man as he gave his dying breaths. Reid dialed 911 and briefly explained the situation. "A middle aged man was stabbed outside of Preston apartments, upper abdomen..." He looked up and the girl was taking off down the street.

"Wait!" Reid hung up the phone, rushing after the girl.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to__Eriks angel 15_ _for reviewing! It was muchly appreciated and I hope I fixed all the typos you found! :D_

_XXXXXXXXXXXX_

"I know Reid's not too apt on time but c'mon," Morgan started, "It's been a halfhour now."

"I'm sure he'll be the dramatic hero show up minutes before the jet's up." Prentiss smirked at Morgan, taking a sip of her coffee as she spun halfway on her chair.

"Actually, no jet trip today. This one's local." JJ held up a few files as a cue for them to get in the conference room.

"James Regan, age 43, was found outside Preston Apartments last night, one single stab to the abdomen. 911 responders said there was no one in the area when they arrived but someone had called them around the time of the attack. They don't think it was the attacker."

"Why do they not think that?" Morgan asked curiously.

"The caller was frantic and then hung up after running to catch up with someone. They think whoever he was running to was the attacker. Even then, the stab wasn't violent. James Regan was a businessman who lived in the apartments. He knew his attacker well enough to approach him, feeling safe. If this was a couple of thugs, Mr. Regan would have the sense to not come nearly that close. His wife repeated this over and over to the police.."

Hotch had been sitting quietly, thinking to himself. This was where he had dropped Reid off and now Reid wasn't here for work. But would he really chase down the Unsub without calling for backup?

"Hi! Sorry I'm late, I overslept-"

"Reid, it's about time. We have a case only a few blocks from here. You might as well have just stayed at home." Morgan commented, half joking yet still holding a serious tone.

"I'm sure I would have made it in time.."

"No, the case is right in front of your apartment." Rossi spoke for the first time. Though the team had rules against profiling each other, he couldn't help but notice Hotch's behavior before Reid had entered. The worst conclusion he could think of was Reid knew the victim. But then again...

"Didn't you have to pass the body on your way out the front doors...?" Rossi's voice was a stab in the dark.

Reid stared at Rossi, confusion evident. "I, uh...didn't go home last night. Stayed at a friends, actually. I walked there about a halfhour after Hotch dropped me off."

"Hm, Well, they're expecting us." Rossi changed the conversation. He was the first out the door.

"Reid, wait." Hotch spoke solemnly. "The police came last night. They couldn't find that girl you saw. There was no sign of her anywhere."

"Ah."

His calm reaction took Hotch back a bit. Last night Reid would do anything to save this potential victim. Now it seemed the last thing on his mind. "I thought you were concerned with this case."

"No, no, I am! It's just..." He sighed and looked away from him, trying to decide how to put this. "She came to my apartment last night. She's safe now. Those are her own words. She thanked me and I took her home."

"This story is a bit bewildering considering a murder happened between the time I dropped you off and three o'clock this morning..."

"I know it is."

"Reid, she could be a potential suspect. One doesn't exactly switch from being a terrified abused child to a calm and collected individual..."

"Look, Hotch, can you just take my word for it? She's safe, that's all that matters, isn't it?" His tone was rude, commanding. It wasn't Reid's. Hotch was bewildered but kept on his calm appearance. Moments of silence passed before Reid quickly apologized, running a hand through his hair.

"...You're not using again are you?"

"What? No! I would never do that Hotch...Look, she's part of a witness protection program. She virtually doesn't exist. She thought a man was chasing her and I was the first person she saw. Then the man left, she was safe again. She just has panic attacks and maybe over-dramatized the situation. -There wasn't even a situation."

"Regardless of who she is, she was in the area when a murder occurred. You have to understand that Reid."

"She doesn't deserve any trouble with the law, not anymore, not after what she's been through already. She barely would talk to me after I told her I was FBI. Do you know what it's like to protect someone who doesn't exist? Sometimes you have to just learn to let things go to the wind."

"You sound like you have experience?"

"...My mother. She thought she had a daughter, Vickie. Vicki didn't exist. But I had to look out for her and protect her. And to my mom's eyes, I killed her. In reality, all I did was give my mother her medicine. My mom hated me. She wouldn't talk, wouldn't eat. I could hear her crying every night...Eventually it got bad enough I had to call the paramedics when I found her on the floor; she was so weak..After that her doctor put her on some better medication for her schizophrenia. My mom forgot Vickie entirely after that. But I never forgot...Just because we can't see someone is there, doesn't mean harming them won't affect us..." Reid looked at Hotch, some fleeting reflection of pain in his eyes before wandering off to join the team.

"Reid, wait."

He paused and looked back at Hotch.

"You can't compensate for what happened with your mother. Laying these emotions on a real living individual doesn't make up for a hallucination. You can't carry that past with you, not like this."

"I know...but it helps." Reid gave him a final look before leaving.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"There were no witnesses. The concierge in the apartment can only let us into the victim's home. But Prentiss and Rossi have that covered. As far as I know, there's no clues up there or else they would have called."

JJ added on to Morgan's statement to Hotch, "The victim had no enemies. No money or possessions of his were taken. No signature either."

"Could it have been an accident? A robbery gone bad?" Hotch spoke, measured. Policemen hung about the place and a blue plastic sheet covered the blood stain on the sidewalk. A few onlookers, mostly kids on their way to school, shouted in excitement and pointed out the caution tape.

"We won't know until the coroner gives his word. Hotch, this isn't a ritz neighborhood. It's nightlife is almost nonexistent. It's the business district. Why would anyone—be it a robber or gang member or spree murderer—strike here?"

"Well there's one fact we have. Our UnSub more than likely resides only miles from here, if even that."

"Where's Reid?"

"It's his home, I figured having him be the one to explain this to the neighbors would be the best for them. More comfort. They'll be more willing to share information they might have."

"Oh Gosh...Did Reid know him...?" Profilers could adapt quickly. JJ's switch from job to friends was immediate as her arms crossed her chest, her sign of concern.

"If he did, he hasn't said anything to me. He's been more concerned with his job."

"Job?" Morgan's eyebrows rose.

"It's a personal matter." Before Hotch could hear their response, he walked away to talk to the police. JJ and Morgan exchanged a look.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Yes, yes, he lived two doors down...Oh, his wife was such a sweetie...When they first moved in, they brought me some cake..Such a tragedy..."

"I'm unfortunate to have never spent time with them like you have, Ms. Lillace. I can tell his memory will be honored by you." Reid smiled at the elderly woman.

"More so. Where is his wife now?"

"I believe staying with her parents, in one of the western suburbs."

"Good for her...I don't blame the poor lady if she doesn't return. I would greatly like to visit her though."

"I'm sure she would like that."

"Too bad I can't drive and my son lives in Florida...Oh Dr. Reid, would you mind driving me to see her some day?" It was by no means begging, it was simply a little old lady who wished to offer personal condolences rather than speedily send a card of regret. Reid couldn't ignore that.

"I—Uh. Of course, Ms. Lillace. Anything." Reid forced a polite smile. He'd much rather play chess in the park on his free hours, but no kind deed goes unpunished. He left, going down the hallway and sneaking his way past the little crowds of concerned neighbors. The news should be pretty spread out by now.

_A week later..._

"Are you warm enough, Ms Lillace?" Reid asked as

"Fine dear, fine."

"Alright, it you get too hot, let me know."

"You have a wonderful mother to raise you so politely."

Reid smiled and turned around to look over his shoulder, passing into a different lane. "I'll tell her you said that. I think this is the road we take, does she know you're coming?"

"Yes, I called her just before you came."

It was quiet for awhile. Their surroundings echoed it. Off the highway and into the small town, still relatively busy considering it was right off Washington DC.

Reid settled into the seat again, done with all the rights and lefts for now. He dropped one hand from the steering wheel and admired the scenic streets. Something wasn't there to be admired though. The teen girl made eye contact with him, running into the street and mouthing something frantically. Her mascara had ran down her face from apparent tears and her hands were balled into angry fists. Reid swerved his car to the right to avoid hitting her. A semi happened to be coming in from that direction. Tires squealed and a horn blared continuously as Reid and his neighbor were jolted hard, glass shattering.

"Spencer, you shouldn't have swerved, I wanted to die. You didn't save me...I hate you!"

Reid's world turned fuzzy after that last syllable and the form of the teen in front of him faded to black.


	3. Chapter 3

Sal-e13_** – Good question! You'll find out a major hint to that in this chapter! Thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me! : )**_

"Sir, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?"

Reid blinked until clarity came, sounds increasing in volume as he came to.

"Sir, I have to ask you not to move. Who can I contact for you?"

"...Hotch. Aaron Hotchner...BAU.." Reid sat up on his elbow, much to the disapproval of the paramedic. "I'm fine."

"Mr...Reid? Dr. Reid. You swerved right into that semi." Things went fuzzy again. Black.

"No...No, I swerved to the left, to avoid hitting a girl...She was just here. Is she okay?"

"I'm fine but you won't be. James is dead. James wasn't the man." The girl sneered at Reid, arms tight over her chest.

"That's why you need to stay until my team arrives."

"I don't need the police!"

"We're not the police..."

"You made me kill a man—You-you killed him!" The girl shouted angrily. Before Reid could move, she snatched his gun from his waist and aimed it at Reid. "First Vicki, now James Regan. You're on a very brief trial Dr. Reid. My uncle is a great marksman you know. He murdered his wife but got away with it. He'll still get away with it when he kills you!" The gun went off. Reid bit his lip hard at the pain, shutting his eyes tight to not see, to not hear.

"Hey, hey kid, it's okay!" Morgan shouted, a hand clamped on Reid's shoulder. Reid opened his eyes to see a hospital room. Various beeping machines. A nurse leaning over him. And Morgan.

"No..I was shot. My leg..-Morgan, Hotch probably told you about a girl I saw who needed help. She was the one to kill James Regan. She thought he was her uncle—She's been abused by this man, the same man who murdered her aunt. I think she's suffering from Stockholm because now she's protecting him. Yet she tried to commit suicide on the road out there and I swerved to avoid her. She hates me now and is going back to her uncle because she knows she'll die in his hands. She has my gun and said I should be wary of my life. Either she's telling him I gave her the gun to kill him and he'll come after me for revenge...or her psychosis is strong enough to believe she can kill us both for letting her down. I don't know, but I need your help."

Morgan stared blankly at Reid, trying to process all this information. He happened to glance at the nurse, who silently told him to let it go for now. Morgan looked back at Reid. "Kid, you need to rest. Hotch is out there with the rest of the team. I'll go talk to them."

"Well?" Prentiss jumped up from her chair when Morgan entered the waiting room.

"Hotch, do you know anything about a girl Reid's been making contact with? Because apparently now she's a suspect."

Hotch's demeanor changed. The team watched his every move. It became inevitable to keep this from them now that Reid had admitted she could be responsible. After he relayed information to them, Morgan repeated what he had heard.

Hotch started slowly. "Everybody, Reid's just been in a car wreck that had a fatality in it. He's going to be unnerved once he hears of the death of his other neighbor..As much as this present case matters, our UnSub is directed, has targets. She's not disorganized or unstable enough to go on a spree—not yet. I want you to all find information, as much as you can, but don't be obvious. Not until Reid is back on board with this case.

The team nodded and waited for their agent to be cleared.

"How's the leg?" Prentiss asked mildly, bringing Reid a cup of coffee.

"Oh, thanks. And, uh, fine. It's pretty much healed, actually." Reid smiled, taking the warm hot and sipping it slowly.

"Great! I heard it was quite a gash."

"Actually more of a puncture. A bullet's diameter can never exceed in length enough to create a gash." Reid's technical voice came.

"Ha, yea. 'Bullet' of a glass shard. Never heard it put that way before. I thought glass was just glass." Prentiss grinned, deciding to sit next to Reid at his office space. Reid gave her a quizzical look. She seemed to think it was a glass injury.

"Pretty boy! There you are!" Morgan pulled up a chair and sat next to Reid. "If you're up to, I'm going to need a description of your girl. For the profile."

"Oh, right, um...She's about 5'3'', thin. Real pale with deep-set brown eyes. Her voice is timid and young, even when she's angry. It's like she knows this personality isn't hers; she's not used to being assertive..." Reid's voice trailed off as he thought.

"So..putting on a false identity. That's got to put a lot of stress on her." Prentiss commented, looking between her two teammates.

"She's not used to males. I'm not threatening in the least. She came to me because of that. Even then, her uncle's really damaged these views to her. I'm pretty sure she's been through sexual abuse.." Reid spun on his chair, eyes half squinted in thought. Only partially in his reveries, he nearly jumped to suddenly grab the phone.

"This is Dr. Reid with Behavioral Analysis Unit."

"Perfect. I know your exact location."

"Excuse me...who is this?"

"Tovrea. Amber's uncle. I caught her with your gun. I know you sent her to kill me. You're a dead man. Eye for an eye."

"...Sir, please, it was all a misunderstanding."

"365 Preston Apartments. 5th floor. 3rd door on the left. Sleep well tonight Agent Reid."

The phone line went dead and Reid went pale. He slowly hung up the phone.

"...Kid?"

"I have to find her. Now." Reid got up quickly, grabbed his coat, and left the BAU.

"Um...Morgan?" Emily's voice came out, rather unnerved.

"I know, but Hotch said to let him be..."

"No, Morgan...we had an electrical surge not too long ago. JJ sent an email to all the staff saying the phones wouldn't be working until the electrician came at 11:00..."

"...And it's 10:35 now..."

"...Look, the car wreck. It's probably just his head injury." Prentiss voice became leveled again.

"He never had any head injury. His passing out was from loss of blood from where the glass gashed his thigh. There's no way he could have hit his head anywhere."

"I think we better get Hotch..."

_**So I got permission from a super cool video maker on YouTube to use their trailer for this story. And since I had no path or plot planned at all, now I do and it's going to be extremely helpful! I know my writing skills suck, but I'm sure now that with this, they'll grow MUCH better! The question is, should I start a new story, or add the trailer's plots onto this story? xD**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4! For the people who are reading this, I'm sorry for messing with the chapters so much! New to this site, still trying to figure it out. I apologize!**_

_**xxxxxxxxx**_

"Reid. You need to come back."

"No Hotch. He has a name now—Tovrea. I'm having Garcia search that name now, plus any connections to a girl named Amber." Reid started, holding his cell phone tighter than he usually did. "He knows I work at the office and he repeated my home address to me. I can't be in places he knows the location of."

Hotch was quiet. Morgan and Prentiss were looking at him eagerly, waiting for the slightest change or piece of information Hotch could give.

"...I'll send Morgan and to your home, JJ will stay here and be the look-out and Rossi and Prentiss will be out working our new case. I'll call him and tell him your dilemma."

"New case?"

"It's not connected. A 33 year old female shot and killed two of her children, police arrived before she could murder the third. DC police want our help to find her now. Her ex-husband is co-operating."

There was silence on the other end.

"Reid?"

"I'll meet you at Parker's Grove and CityView. I want to help with this case. As long as I stick to my normal routine, it'll be easier to find Tovrea as well."

"Alright. Meet you in 20 minutes." Hotch hung up and motioned for Morgan and Prentiss to go to their locations.

_**xxxxxxxxx**_

Hotch stepped out of the SUV and glanced around for Reid. Before he had a chance to even scan the area, Reid popped up behind him. "I think I'd like to interview her ex-husband, if you don't mind."

"Alright. I need to talk to him myself before going to the station. We'll drive there now. Oh, and Reid?"

They both got into the SUV before Hotch passed him a gun. "Yours, the paramedic had to remove it the day of the car wreck."

Reid took it, reluctantly the way Hotch could see it. "...How did you say you got this?"

"Your bag of personal items at the hospital. The paramedic put it there on scene and the staff at the hospital give it to me. Why?"

"This isn't mine."

Hotch started the SUV but glanced at him before driving.

"Amber has mine. She took it."

"...When did you see Amber?"

"She was the one to shoot me, remember? She was there, she caused the wreck."

"Reid...you were never shot...What are you talking about?" Concern embedded Hotch's face.

"What are YOU talking about?-Nevermind." Reid's tone changed dramatically from confusion to anger, something Hotch was starting to notice more and more in his youngest team member. Hotch had denied any suspicions he had but now it was becoming bluntly obvious something was wrong.

_**xxxxxxx**_

"I-I don't understand...I made sure she took her medicine every day..."

"Medicine?" Hotch repeated after the ex-husband, Paul.

"She was schizophrenic. Often she thought I was cheating on her with another woman, there was absolutely nothing to even suggest that to her..She even thought Sammie and Kyle weren't her own children.."

"And that's why she did this to them?" Reid finished Paul's sentence. His mood hadn't changed from the car. Hotch regretted bringing him in. No doubt his mood hadn't improved with such a personal tragedy.

"I know it's crazy...but-but she could be so _normal_ and yet so...monstrous depending on if she took her Clozapine."

"That was her medication?"

Paul nodded, momentarily losing his composure before stuttering out, "I can get it for you, if you'd like..."

"We'd appreciate that." Hotch said with a tad bit of emotion, abandoning his cold appearance. Once the two agents were alone, Reid's voice dropped.

"Most schizophrenics aren't violent. People perceive them as such because of rare cases like this. She didn't mean it."

"Hardly any killers do mean it, they kill because they can't stop."

"Yes, that...but schizophrenics act out the most violence to people their close to.; spouses, children, best friends... There's been studies that suggest it's an unconscious act of protecting them against the people they see and hear. Sometimes it goes as far as genetics."

"Genetics?"

"Yes...Did you know that schizophrenia is genetically passed?" Reid's voice was calculating. For the past few days his tone has been only surface deep or fearful. This went something beyond that, something personal. His eyes met Hotch's before glancing off to the side quickly

"I've read it somewhere, once..." Hotch's eyes never left Reid. There was something the younger member wanted to say but didn't have the courage to. Hotch wouldn't force him either.

"...Excuse me." Reid stood and quickly walked outside. It was one of the warmer days of Winter. At least, warm enough for him to have a phone conversation and not be freezing by the end. He dialed the number on the cell.

"Tovrea? -Sorry, sir. Wrong number." He dialed it again.

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr Tovrea...? I'm sorry."

His phone rang. Reid jumped and answered it quickly.

"Mr. Tovrea?"

"Yes and No!" came Garcia's peppy voice. "There's 37 Tovrea's in the state, my prince, but 15 are prepubescent children, 5 deceased peoples, and 11 are females, the remaining 6 aren't anything spooky, half of them aren't even old enough to have a niece that's Amber's age. Oh, and none of them are connected to anyone by the name of Amber. Sorry."

"Okay thanks Garcia. Can you look up a number for me?"

"I can do anything for you except for the earth. But then again..." He could hear her grin on the other end. He wasted no time and gave her the number.

"Mmm, it's a political number m'dear. Couldn't you tell by the first three digits? I don't need VICAP to tell you that."

"Political?"

"Yea. People running for some government position, y'know? They record a message, make it sound real and personal, then send it to thousands? Tricky bastards."

"Could someone hack into one and change the message?"

"Teh. You're funny. It's the government. They guard those things like hound dogs. No one wants a bad image, especially in politics."

"Okay, thanks." He hung up quickly, spotting Amber. Or something. "I need to talk to you.."

"I'm listening." Her voice was cocky.

"Why do you disappear every time I mention my team?"

"I told you, I hate police, FBI..."

"Well, you're talking to me, aren't you?" Reid sported a fake "heh". But he felt nothing funny in the situation.

"Yea."

"...Yea? That's it? My teammate Hotch is in there right now. Wait for him to come out—please."

"Agent Reid?" A DC policemen glanced over at him. "Oh, sorry, are you on the phone?"

"No." Reid glanced at Amber. She stared at him then looked at the cop defiantly.

"Oh...I just heard your voice out here. Agent Hotchner was wondering where you went."

"Um, excuse me sir. I know this might be out of your command...but I need you to cuff this young lady. She's a part of a different case and...I didn't bring my belt with me."

"Cuff me?"

"...Young lady? Where is she at?"

"...Right here sir, at the end of driveway..."

"I'm sorry, I don't see her. Are you sure?"

"You're not going to put me in jail are you?"

"Please officer, I need your cooperation. Amber, it's just for questioning. I want to help you."

"Who are you talking to...?"

"This isn't 'helping me'!"

"Agent Reid?"

"Amber, please. Yes, Officer, if you would mind stopping the games, she's a very valuable witness to the death of James Regan! I need to bring her in!" Reid was losing patience fast. The officer looked bewildered, stupid. Was it that hard to move in without back-up against a young girl?

"Dr. Reid, calm down."

"Yea, Dr. Reid, _calm down_. '_She's gone mom, she's not coming back...' "_

Reid stared at Amber. Memories flooded him. No, not memories, realizations. Amber was no different than Vicki.


	5. Chapter 5

"Did you hear Reid took off in the middle of an investigation today?" Prentiss's voice was low to avoid attention. Morgan stared at her blankly. He couldn't comprehend it at first.

"Wait, Reid?"

"Yea, they were interviewing the ex-husband and Reid just up and left. Once of the DC police around the house thought he was making some phone calls but...I guess there's a long story to that too." Her brief ending came when Rossi passed by. Morgan took no care to him.

"He's skipped out on us before, that plane trip to Texas a few years back."

"From New Orleans, yea..But that was right after Tobias. Do you think something's bothering Reid again?"

"Reid wouldn't abandon Hotch like that, not without an explanation. Has he talked to him since?"

"I guess a few quick phone calls. Reid hasn't been conversing much though."

"Something's bugging the kid..I'm going to find out too." Morgan stood and headed right for the doors. He always had been the confrontational type. And he definitely wasn't going to beat around the bush if something was wrong with the youngest member of the BAU.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"The sun's a little bright in your eyes, isn't it?" Morgan asked boldly. The lean figure in front of him halfway glanced back at Morgan before looking back at the sunset.

"We've been looking for you." Morgan moved a few steps closer. "I heard you skipped out on Hotch today."

"News travels fast."

"With our team? Yea. That isn't really a bad thing though, is it?"

"Depends on the news..."

Silence. Morgan looked at the gravel beneath their feet. Reid was silent. When more time than Morgan had liked passed, he spoke again to remind Reid he was still here. "So Amber. Does this have something to do with her?"

"Yea, actually."

"Is she okay?"

Silence.

Morgan stepped closer to him, right behind him now. "Talk to me...What is this? You've been so distant lately. Something's wrong...But maybe if you give us the chance, give us a little info, then maybe we can help."

"It's not like that."

"Then brief me on it. You know our cases, we're briefed. Sometimes we catch the bad guy, sometimes we don't. We still hear about it, either way. Just do me that much."

Quiet. Only wind passed. Morgan was about to add on to his statement but then Reid opened his mouth. He tried for words, nothing came. He tried again. His voice was quiet, almost unbelievable even to himself. "I've been seeing things.."

"...Seeing things? C'mon Reid. Give me better than that."

"I can't."

"Who were you talking to on the phone earlier?"

"...No one..."

"Then what the hell is scaring you?" The question seemed obvious to answer.

"...Nothing itself. The things I'm seeing aren't there. It's that simple. But..."

Morgan waited for him to finish. It was a trailed off sentence and Reid looked back up towards the sky. "...A few years ago, we had an UnSub who was following the book The Collector. He knew my mother from the mental facility she's in. When I mentioned my mom to him, I told him she was a paranoid schizophrenic who would forget to feed herself if not properly medicated. You looked really surprised. How shocked would you be if I told you...If I'm...I've got...it...too."

Now it was Morgan who was silent. He stared at Reid skeptically. "But...you don't." Morgan scoffed and shook his head. "You're not schizophrenic, kid. Why would you even—Heh, c'mon."

"I have the genetics for it. Amber isn't real and neither is Tovrea. It doesn't make their threats any less-...The phone's weren't working this morning, someone told me. The police officer saw me talking to myself. The number Tovrea called from is a political number—you know most schizophrenics are paranoid about the government? How does that figure when I'm IN the FBI?"

Morgan sighed and bowed his head. A quick look back up at Reid told him this wasn't imagined, much as he wished for it to be. "...We're going to get you some help, okay?"

Reid didn't nod. A less impressive smile played on his face before quickly retreating and staring at the ground. What did he just do?


	6. Chapter 6

_**A friend of mine read the story so far and she says its a bit too confusing. So just to clarify once and for all since we've reached a safe point, Amber and Tovrea are NOT real. They're Reid's hallucinations :)**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

"You don't _need _any help._ I'm_ the one who needs help." Amber's voice was passionate. To prove it, her fist pounded against the tree bark as she spoke. Reid walked past her, biting his lip. _She isn't real, she isn't real._

"Hello? Spencer! Why are you suddenly ignoring me?" Amber was matching his footsteps. Her petite legs had some issues catching up with his stride but somehow she managed. "That cop didn't see me. That doesn't mean I'm not real."

Reid was voiceless. He wouldn't talk, that would mean he'd be talking aloud to himself. And he wasn't going to do that again.

"Look, I'm sorry. Is that what you want? I heard your profile, yes I tried to kill myself, once by your car, the other by going to my uncle. He hates me y'know. You wouldn't blame me if you knew. He has raped me, your profile is right there too. But what now? Y-You're just going to let that knowledge go to waste?" Her voice became flighty and weak, strained with emotion. "I need help...Spencer..." A pout. Tears. It was getting harder for Reid to ignore. What if what he had told Morgan was wrong? What if Garcia's information was wrong? Could he really let inaccuracies overpower his intuition, what was in front of him now?

"God..." She cried, wiping her face with her sleeve and falling behind. She stopped altogether and sat on the park bench.

Reid noticed her pitter-patter of feet had disappeared. He turned around and watched her. "Look, maybe you are real-"

"Of course I'm real! Are you fucking suggesting the way he touches me, the smell of Aunt Kim's corpse—GOD SPENCER. I know you don't have any reason to be tied up in my life, but isn't that your JOB? Fact of the matter is now you are in my life whether you think it's a game or not! You can't erase what you've already done!"

"...I'm sorry."

"You're not." Her tone was hopeless now that the angry spark was dying down in her. "You're not sorry."

"How can I prove to you I am? That I want to help?"

"...Tell your friends about me. Tell them I'm not a figment of your mind. I don't want to be forgotten again."

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Morgan knocked twice on Hotch's office before coming in. Normally he would pop in with barely a warning, only trusting his boss had seen him through the glass. Somehow Morgan had lost that excitement in his life. Everything seemed shaded in gray nowadays.

"Hotch...We need to talk. About Reid." He promised Reid he would get help. He didn't specify who it would be. And Morgan could only wait so long. "He's...Amber and Tovrea aren't real. He's been imagining them. He admitted this to me himself."

Hotch looked at Morgan but his glance seemed to look past him. He seemed at a loss of not only words, but emotions to react with. Something had been wrong with the agent. But him admitting it turned it to a whole new extreme.

"He's pretty sure he has..his mother's illness." The medical term couldn't come out of Morgan's mouth. It just couldn't. Because every word tagged along with it just wasn't his Reid. _Crazy, psycho, asylum..._

"...He can't be sure just because of hallucinations." Hotch finally spoke. He tried to keep his voice unwavering. Both men pretended they didn't hear the unsureness in it.

"I didn't want to believe him either. I still don't know."

"I can schedule an appointment for him. Dr. Kimura, down at one of the hospitals. She's trained in a wide variety of examinations with the proper documentation to assist FBI. "

"If he's right about this, we aren't going to be dealing with the logical Reid here.." A few UnSubs had shown Schizophrenic traits. Reid was an expert in the field and had informed them of different traits to expect. Confusion, contradictions, paranoia, lacking logic, violence...

"Then we'll hurry before this becomes something worse than it needs to be."

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

_The Next Morning..._

Hotch had told the rest of them what was going on. They needed to know before Dr. Kimura showed up and started privately interviewing one of their own. And she was perfectly on time, even early. The details she had been given on the phone by Hotch weren't promising and she wanted to remain optimistic. Sunrise always seemed a happy time to her. Maybe the sunrise would affect the situation.

"Dr. Kimura." The surprised tone in JJ wasn't hidden. She had heard about Reid needing help but somehow seeing her, there, in the office, made everything real. More real than she'd had liked it to be. Hotch came down from his office immediately. It was that that triggered Morgan to glance over and see she had arrived. He joined Hotch, reluctantly.

"Dr. Kimura, thank you for coming." Hotch gave her a brief handshake and she smiled.

"Anything for the BAU, for Dr. Reid. What's been the problem?"

"He needs a psych evaluation." Hotch stated.

"Psych Eval? Oh dear. What's happened out on the field?" Dr. Kimura was very expressive with her face. She was sympathetic, immediately that smile she walked in with had faded. She had to give one or two evals for agents who have gone through traumatic events before, and it never became easier, much like delivering bad news to a family. A majority of FBI, and especially personalities like Reid, didn't appreciate being told they couldn't do their job.

"Actually, it's strictly medical this time. It hasn't been anything related to his job." Hotch corrected. Morgan looked down at the floor. He already knew there would be a look of confusion from her.

"Schizophrenia." Morgan blurted. He had planned to say it calmly in his mind but it came out with much more force than he had liked.

"Schizophrenia?" Dr. Kimura repeated, glancing between Morgan and Hotch. The mood echoed in JJ and she was now looking around for visual distractions. This couldn't be happening.

"Please, if you could just take him in for the day. Just watch him. We'd really appreciate your professional opinion. We don't know for sure but it's what he's considered.."

The doctor nodded, concern embedding her face. "Of course. Of course, and anything, I'll do anything to help if that is the outcome. I'll do anything to help period." She forced back her familiar smile and somehow it looked real.

Reid entered with his familiar bag. He looked at the few members on the team and saw Dr. Kimura. He didn't seem too surprised by it. Morgan was looking at him strangely. Reid hadn't batted an eye. In fact, he looked defiant.

He walked past them and to his desk, setting down a cup of coffee he held and nudging off the tan bag.

"Good morning Dr. Reid." She smiled, obviously showing her unwillingness to let wear and tear affect her like it had his teammates.

"Good morning. It's odd to see you in these settings but nonetheless, Hi." He spoke quickly and without much eye contact, sitting down at the desk and already burrying himself in the computer.

"Reid, can you come over here please?" Hotch asked, seemingly innocent. No matter how he attempted to mask it, Morgan and JJ still heard the waiver in his voice. Not their Reid.

"I, uh, actually have a lot of work to do."

"Reid."

"If this could just wait a second, I need to find something right now. I promised someone I would do this first morning."

"Right now, let's worry about you." Dr. Kimura was keeping her eyes on him. She didn't wander or try to appear any threat. She dealt with schizophrenics before and though it complicated her perception to connect schizos with Reid, her mask was fixated.

Reid had wandered to grab a file but her words hit him like a rock. Yesterday. He had confessed everything to Morgan yesterday. Before he talked to Amber. "I actually, uh, I feel fine." Reid made sure to look at Morgan right after he spoke to Dr. Kimura. Even then, his tough appearance he had been keeping for the past while was faltering. He had confessed and now they knew. But they knew the wrong thing.

"Dr. Reid, would you mind just coming with me to my office? It's a good ten minute drive, 15 with traffic..but hey, it's a day off work right? You look like you could use a break."

"I don't, really...I told you I'm fine. I know what you're thinking..but it's wrong now. At least, until after today. I'm going to work on it today." _Let me figure it out today._

Dr. Kimura folded the edges of her jacket, smiling sympathetically. She didn't want to treat him like a patient. Not again. And most definitely not this kind of patient. Yet right now that was her only target to hit. "But Dr. Reid...It won't end today. You know that from your mother. Denial only goes as far as denial. You know they'll only get worse...I could give you something. Something to help it, and we forget this."

"No...No, I'll be kicked off the team. They'll think I can't handle the job. I _can._ Like with Tobias. I could handle the job. They just don't want me to save this girl because of what I said."

The room was empty to him. Hotch and Morgan and JJ had disappeared to him. But they were still there, watching what used to be peppy and cutely geeky Reid now accuse them and grow into a paranoid individual.

"No. I won't take any narcotics. I won't take anything from you, not your help, not your drugs, not your advice. Please, I need to do my work now." Reid turned on a heel and went back to the computer.

"Reid, as your commander and chief, I'm ordering you a days leave at least." Hotch's voice was sound.

"No I'm staying right here."

"From this point on, you're here without a clearing and I can have you removed from this site."

Morgan looked from Hotch to the floor, raising his eyebrows. Reid and Hotch challenging each other. Suddenly it was Alpha Reid versus Alpha Hotch. They were in a stare down before the better part of Reid cooperated and he muttered a bitter "Fine." At least some sense was still with him.

Hotch didn't look very impressed or accomplished though. He immediately walked off.

"Take good care of him please." Morgan said over his shoulder as he followed Hotch to converse. They both needed to talk about this. It didn't take a profiler's education to deem that.

JJ looked up and glanced at Reid. She settled on walking to the end of the hallway before she let Dr. Kimura take Reid solo. Somehow, JJ didn't want to let him go. Yes, he needed help and yes Dr. Kimura was the best person to do that. But they separated once and Reid was in trouble. If they separated this time...

Her mouth opened and all that came was a quiet "Goodbye Reid..."

XXXXXXXXXXX _That Afternoon..._

Hotch's phone rang. He picked up after checking the caller ID. He didn't prepare himself for good news nor bad news lest he show emotion on either outcome. Though nothing had prepared him for "Dr. Reid is gone."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Ello! Thank you SO much for the reviews! It means so much, can't possibly explain how happy you guys make me! :)**_

heartbrokenlover12_** – Wow, good eye! No, I didn't make that trailer. But yes, this story is based off it! I got permission from OneTwentyProductions to use their trailer plot as the plot of this story, so that is dubbed the official trailer for this fanfic. All credit for the video goes to OneTwentyProductions :)**_

_**Here's a link to it. I tried putting it in the summary section but it didn't work. **_

.com/watch?v=4JN1YRZTiPs__

_**I hope you'll notice the scenes that are in both the video and story. It makes imagining their tones a lot easier while reading xD**_

_**Wow, sorry for blabbing. On with the show! :)**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Reid was angry. No, pissed. He may be the youngest person of the team but they didn't need to treat him like it. He wasn't a child. Hell, if he wanted to do a solo investigation, he should be allowed. He shouldn't be dragged away to a white walled sterilized hospital office. He was better than that. He had more potential in a day at the BAU.

His escape wasn't complicated. Reid would hardly call it an escape. Only...a desire to leave that was fulfilled by his own self-empowerment. He wasn't a prisoner _escaping_. And he wasn't worried about being caught as he walked the DC streets now. When they hauled him back to the BAU office to Hotch, Reid would merely give him hell. He was an adult. He wasn't breaking laws, only being a curious citizen. He had no order to be with Dr. Kimura and thus wasn't disobeying anyone, anywhere.

Right now he blended in. It was the backstreets of the town, a small neighborhood area. Some considered it seedy, Reid called it strategical. They wouldn't expect little meek Reid in a downtrodden environment where hookers and addicts hung about.

They didn't know he had the courage to come here. They hadn't realized Reid blended in. After Georgia, Reid took the Dilaudid. He always worried about being caught by Hotch or Gideon. And after talking to his friend Ethan in New Orleans..._"__You're surrounded by some of the best minds in the world. If you think they don't notice... _" Ethan had imitated the withdrawal trembles. "_Well, for a genius, that's just dumb."_ Reid knew. His team knew the whole time about his addiction. Yet his team had never tried to stop him from doing the drugs. Was it that they didn't care? The more they ignored it, the more he felt ashamed.

Reid had inadvertently asked for help...The scene played in his mind. _"He's like a drug addict, only fire's his drug. Each time an addict needs a fix, they need more of the drug to get off, so his crimes will most likely get much worse. It'd be almost impossible for him to quit without help." _ Eye contact had been made. Silent messages. Silent understandings. Soon after a card for Beltway Clean Cops showed up on Reid's desk, from either Hotch or Gideon.

The team didn't care for Reid. They couldn't help him then without ushering him on to someone else. And again they did it, giving him on to Dr. Kimura. Fine. Screw them. He was independent. Reid didn't need anyone.

"Dr. Reid?" Bass voice, very masculine. Reid had only gotten a glance of the man before a gun went off, hitting a tin trashcan that bounced over with a huge crash of metal. Talk about a first impression. Dogs barked in the distant uncleanly homes at the noises in the alley as Reid's ear ricocheted the sound . "Where's Amber?"

"...What...?"

"Cut the crap and tell me where the fuck my niece is!"

"...Mr. Tovrea." The name sunk in with soaked with dread. Reid observed his features. A musky man, very brute and tall. Although Amber was petite she had a huge fire in her, a vicious strength of wills. Her combination didn't match but now Reid could now see where it came from so naturally. This guy looked like a wrestler. No, worse. His sleeves were ripped at the tops, his white tee covered with oil and dirt. Not good. Not that car mechanics had bad reputations, but when one has a gun aimed at you in a lone alley, one tends to be wishing they were somewhere else.

"You did this. You gave her the idea to run away. Don't you know she's all I have left?"

"...Maybe you should have thought about that before murdering your wife..." Bold, but what else could Reid say? It was the truth.

Enraged, Tovrea shot the gun again. It came frighteningly close this time. Reid didn't have time to calm his nerves after this one though. Almost simultaneously he was slammed against the brick wall, pinned by Tovrea. Reid's head slammed against the wall. The pain came right away, a thick throb that brought a cloud of black. This smog hung around Reid's vision. His hair was grabbed and Reid was about to die, he knew it. Tovrea would bash his head into the wall. Almost 50,000 people died each year from a head injury. He would have a cracked skull, blood would fill the area, he would be dead instantly...

XXXXXXXXXX

"911 What's your emergency?"

"Hi, um, My son and I were just sitting in the living room at 108 Park Street, right on the corner? We heard some yells and there's a young man in the alleyway, I think he needs help..."

"Is he injured from what you can see ma'am?"

"He might have hurt himself, there's some blood or something in his hair."

"I'm sending the paramedics now ma'am. Please stay on the line. Is this man alone?"

"Yes, there's been no one in that alley for weeks. I would have seen someone come in from my upstairs window, it's only been him."

"I'm sending a police escort just in case there's an attacker still around."

"Okay, but I'm pretty sure he did this to himself...My son and I are going to him now, he's not moving..." Betty Sanders repositioned the cell phone and let the curtain drop back down over the window. Her son Tom was already out the door. She followed quickly past the cracked sidewalk and dirtied alleyway.

"Hello, sir? Are you hurt?"

The brown haired man didn't move. He was slumped against the wall but his eyes were open, staring ahead. No, he wasn't sleeping or passed out; he had a hand on his head. No one could hold that upright posture when unconscious. He certainly wasn't a drunk...he looked so professionally dressed. He was in some sort of stupor. He couldn't be anything past a college student.

Tom was daring and stood in front of him, kneeling down and taking his shoulder. "C'mon man, are you okay?"

Reid snapped out of his reveries. He wasn't dead. Tovrea hadn't bashed his head in. But his head hurt _so_ bad...Wait, someone had shaken him. He glanced up to the left and saw Tovrea smirking at him. There was another man right there, too, if front of Reid. He was the same age of Tovrea. Tovrea didn't object to his being here. He must be a friend of his, almost like a gang.

"...Sir...?" Tom didn't like the look in the young man's eyes. It was fear mixed with pain which wasn't that surprising, but it was the glaze over the man's eyes that unnerved him. Absolutely no realization, no spark.

Reid grabbed his gun and shot the individual square in the chest. Tom went wide eyed before collapsing over.

"Oh my God!"

"Ma'am?" the 911 dispatcher heard the shot in the background noise.

"HE JUST SHOT MY SON!"

The sirens approached at that time, already have been called originally. An ambulance sped around the corner followed by police. Betty stared in horror at the sight before letting out a wail, cradling her son and ignoring the danger or kneeling in front on the other man. He looked just as stunned himself.

Reid was shell-shocked. Nothing added up, nothing made sense. Where did this woman come from? And where did Tovrea go? Painfully Reid clutched his head. Blood. Not enough to be worried, just enough to hurt. Tovrea was gone but had Reid under his death sentence. Tovrea knew where Reid lived and worked. He couldn't stay here any longer. He had to leave DC...Quantico.

"...Agent Reid?" But the officer standing by saw Reid.

Reid quickly scurried up and ran. Ran for his life. Ran to find Amber. Amber was the only one who could save him from Tovrea. She would be the only shield he could use. Not his team. Never again.


End file.
